Friday, September 5, 2014

Writers Block.. But With Life. Life Block?

Do you ever just get lost in your own life? Not like the good kind of lost (like, "lost in icky sweet happiness over how unbelievably perfect my life is"). I'm talking about the not so great kind of lost where you don't know what next step you should take because the path has so many stupid pot holes of circumstances and crappy mud puddles of indecisiveness, EVERYWHERE. Yeah that kind. It was seriously just one thing after another over the past several weeks. I lost just about all sources of income. Not because I was fired, but because my jobs disappeared. My beloved Tea Room is closing permanently. It was going to close just for the summer so my boss could get her new home renovated and moved into. Unfortunately, fate did not allow for it to re-open. I have been helping here and there to get things ready for our final closing sale tomorrow. I'm dreading it really. It's already been hard enough watching people walk out the door with the beautiful treasures that made up the lovely place. I actually cried at the last sale we had.. over the floral sofa. I wanted to buy it so bad to put in my house someday. So many days that I sat on that thing and visited. The tea room was one of the most magical places on earth. When you walked in, it was like walking back in time. Elegant chairs and tables set with fine china. Low lighting from chandeliers, lamps, and candle centerpieces. Beautiful flower arrangements everywhere. The aroma of fragrant teas and delectable food floated through the air as classical music graced your ears. It was total bliss as soon as you walked in the door. I looked forward to going into work. It honestly didn't even really feel like work at all. It was the best possible job that I could have asked for. I formed an amazing relationship with my boss, Cynthia, Brian (the pastry chef, who is also her nephew) and several of our incredible customers. I laughed and joked with them constantly between carrying out plates and making aromatic hot teas. We always asked each other how our weekend had been or what was new in our lives. Cynthia and Brian became not just my coworkers and friends, but my family. It has been such a blessing working for her and I'm sad that it's come to a close at the Tea Room. I will be so fortunate to find another job that even comes close. I need to start looking for another job but it's hard to. I'm lacking the drive.. on a lot of things. I'm not quite sure which step to take next. There's so many areas in my life where I ask that question, "What should I do next?" I'm at that point with job options. With house options. With social options. I was with church options, till this past Wednesday. I love my church but I'm the only college student there. I found (I believe) a pretty cool church college group to kick it with on Wednesday nights. So that's resolved (Yay!) but I'm still waiting on an open door for the other things. I need prayer, and a lot of it. I know God will handle it, he always does. I always end up having what I need (even though a little extra cash would be nice. :P). I jump back and forth between feeling defeated and being super optimistic. Not sure if that's normal or not. But then again, I've never been the "normal" type. I probably should have titled this, "Saying Good Bye to the Tea Room" since I talked about that just about the entire time. Pray for me and my boss tomorrow as it's going to be a rough day. I might end up clinging on to some old lady's leg, crying hysterically, and blubbering, "Don't take that tea cup!" That's a scary thought.. Yeaaaah prayers would be awesome.

No comments:

Post a Comment