Saturday, January 25, 2014

Sometimes It Just Needs To Be About Me

Do you ever get a little overwhelmed with everything sometimes? And then you feel like your only feel-better solution is to scream and throw a hissy fit? That was me this week. No, I didn't throw a hissy fit. I just cried and vented to my mom last night. That made me feel better. Moms are great for that sort of thing.

I had gotten to my breaking point. I have been constantly going for what seems like months. It's hard to stop and breath without someone requiring or wanting me to do something. "Can you/would you do this for me?" is a phrase I hear rather often. I love serving others, don't get me wrong! But I'm burnt out on it. It usually makes me happy inside but instead, I feel totally exhausted from it. That's not the way I want to feel. I'm tired of being constantly tired. I want to have that happiness inside me when I serve others.

I'm very self-sacrificing and occasionaly have a hard time saying the word, "No." Okay, actually most of the time. I fret over letting someone down if I don't say yes. It shouldn't be like that, but it seems like that mindset is woven into my very DNA. I'm slowly but surely getting better about saying, "No." I mean, can't do everything. I'm not a fictional comic book superhero that can save the day all the time. No Superwoman here. Just me, a human. A human that thankfully has been covered by the grace and mercy of a loving Savior. I flub up every day but Jesus has my back and helps me through the times when I feel like this.

This past week was busy busy busy. I had two cakes I had to do over last weekend, along with watching my kid brother because everyone was gone on trips/work. So I didn't get much of a weekend break, which I usually look forward to. Then before I knew it, it was a hectic Monday.. Tuesday.. Wednesday. Wednesday I had to drop my dog, Maggie, off at the vet for surgery. She had a mammary tumor that had to be removed and she got spayed on top of that. Double operation. So the poor girl is sore now but seems to be doing great. Which is a huge relief to me because I was a worried sick "mother." After I dropped her off, I went to pick up the little girl I watch and take her to gymnastics. After that, it was home. Fixed lunch. Then back to drop my little girl off and go pick up my pup. Back home, then out to church. I was in the car for half of the day and it was extremely tiring. Thursday was crazy. Friday wasn't as crazy. And here I am at Saturday. This week was long. I worked 40+ hours on top of everything else going on. It all just kind of meshed into a crazy whirlwind of, well, craziness.

Today though, was not like that. I spent the day doing things that I love. Browsing the thrift/antique stores, I found a couple of great deals (two vinyls and a faux fur collar.. holla!). I lounged in my coffee shop, Sips. I drank a delicious chai latte and ate a blueberry cinnamon roll, also delicious. My friend Terry came in while I was there so we talked for a while. Then I had lunch at BWW with a special friend and we went to the comic book store. After running a few errands, I came home and rode my bicycle. It was a laid back day full of wonderful things. I think I'm ready to take on the world again. Today was a refresher. Today was about me and sometimes.. that's just what it needs to be.

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