Tuesday, April 3, 2012


     Have you ever had someone come up and ask you one of those mind blowing, life altering, confusing, take you off guard, but resonable questions? I have. I was presented with one of these questions this past week. I won't tell you what the question was, but what I will tell you is that it certainly got me thinking. I have felt like Winnie the Pooh. I need a thinking spot where I can say, "Think. Think. Think." and figure it out. It was something that I never really thought I would be asked but yet something I really need to think about. Are you annoyed yet with how many times I can say think? Life is full of surprises and I'm pretty sure I have several in store for the future. You all are curious now aren't you? Don't worry, I'll probably tell you when I find out.
     My life has been full of surprises. It's been more than a little crazy and hectic for over a year now. I feel sometimes that the changes were more bad than good. It really started when my Great Grandma Lofton passed away (as I've already told you). I still regret not going to see her in the hospital when they said she was doing much better and should have been able to go home soon. The day after the positive feedback, she passed away. It broke my heart that I didn't get to say goodbye. A few months later I lost someone I thought I could count on to be there for me and again, my heart was broken. The next several months were full of sadness and lack of meaning. I continued to ask myself, "Why?" Always the questions. All through the rest of the time, it was one thing after another. My car broke down time after time. More people came and went that I thought I could trust. I began to think that you can't trust too much or you eventually get broken. I lost my job and my hope that things would get better. Things seemed like they just couldn't go right. I knew it was satan at work but I tended to get upset with God. Again with the questioning, "Why? Why me?" Then I decided to give up. I'd had enough. I had gotten to the breaking point and gone past it. I stopped trying. And I soon found out, that's exactly what he wanted me to do. God wanted me to give it up to him, to stop trying to handle it on my own. I suddenly had that burden gone. I chose not to worry about it anymore. Before I knew it, things were falling into place. Things were getting better. I met more fantastic friends, went to an amazing bible study group, started my career, enjoyed time with my family more, and took pleasure in the simple things. Now I'm as happy as I could ever wish. Things may still go wrong every once in awhile but that's just life. A lady that I really admire from my church was talking to me a few weeks ago on a girl's day. We talked about some of the things I've mentioned and I said that I had felt like they were all bad. She looked at me and said, "Were they really? Just think, if you hadn't gone through those things, would you be where you are now? Knowing what you know or having met the people you have?" Her wisdom really struck me! The fact is that I wouldn't be the person I am now without all of that. I won't change how I am except to be more of the person I ought to be. I'm not going to worry because I have set my hopes on something higher. I'm not going to question God anymore. He obviously knows what he's doing. No more questions about it.

1 comment:

  1. The joy is shining from within you and touching all you come in contact with.