Writers Block.. But With Life. Life Block?

Do you ever just get lost in your own life? Not like the good kind of lost (like, "lost in icky sweet happiness over how unbelievably perfect my life is"). I'm talking about the not so great kind of lost where you don't know what next step you should take because the path has so many stupid pot holes of circumstances and crappy mud puddles of indecisiveness, EVERYWHERE. Yeah that kind. It was seriously just one thing after another over the past several weeks. I lost just about all sources of income. Not because I was fired, but because my jobs disappeared. My beloved Tea Room is closing permanently. It was going to close just for the summer so my boss could get her new home renovated and moved into. Unfortunately, fate did not allow for it to re-open. I have been helping here and there to get things ready for our final closing sale tomorrow. I'm dreading it really. It's already been hard enough watching people walk out the door with the beautiful treasures that made up the lovely place. I actually cried at the last sale we had.. over the floral sofa. I wanted to buy it so bad to put in my house someday. So many days that I sat on that thing and visited. The tea room was one of the most magical places on earth. When you walked in, it was like walking back in time. Elegant chairs and tables set with fine china. Low lighting from chandeliers, lamps, and candle centerpieces. Beautiful flower arrangements everywhere. The aroma of fragrant teas and delectable food floated through the air as classical music graced your ears. It was total bliss as soon as you walked in the door. I looked forward to going into work. It honestly didn't even really feel like work at all. It was the best possible job that I could have asked for. I formed an amazing relationship with my boss, Cynthia, Brian (the pastry chef, who is also her nephew) and several of our incredible customers. I laughed and joked with them constantly between carrying out plates and making aromatic hot teas. We always asked each other how our weekend had been or what was new in our lives. Cynthia and Brian became not just my coworkers and friends, but my family. It has been such a blessing working for her and I'm sad that it's come to a close at the Tea Room. I will be so fortunate to find another job that even comes close. I need to start looking for another job but it's hard to. I'm lacking the drive.. on a lot of things. I'm not quite sure which step to take next. There's so many areas in my life where I ask that question, "What should I do next?" I'm at that point with job options. With house options. With social options. I was with church options, till this past Wednesday. I love my church but I'm the only college student there. I found (I believe) a pretty cool church college group to kick it with on Wednesday nights. So that's resolved (Yay!) but I'm still waiting on an open door for the other things. I need prayer, and a lot of it. I know God will handle it, he always does. I always end up having what I need (even though a little extra cash would be nice. :P). I jump back and forth between feeling defeated and being super optimistic. Not sure if that's normal or not. But then again, I've never been the "normal" type. I probably should have titled this, "Saying Good Bye to the Tea Room" since I talked about that just about the entire time. Pray for me and my boss tomorrow as it's going to be a rough day. I might end up clinging on to some old lady's leg, crying hysterically, and blubbering, "Don't take that tea cup!" That's a scary thought.. Yeaaaah prayers would be awesome.

Oh my! Summer Update Time

Has it really been two months since I last posted? Time flies when you're having fun! I've had a lot of trips and activities going on for the past few months. I took a weekend trip to New Mexico to see one of my best friend's graduate. He invited me to come up and party with them so I jumped on the opportunity! I drove 9 hours just to get there. His family has been good friends with us since Ethan and I were in kindergarten. It really was a blessing to be able to go and spend time with all of them.

Ethan and I at his graduation.

A month later, I was on my way down to Dallas! My best friend Alyssa has an internship down there this summer. I went down to spend the weekend with her for her birthday! Couldn't have her spending it alone! We did so many things, it was crazy. Trying Moroccan food, exploring the downtown area, hitting up the farmer's market, going to the Art Museum, and riding an old school trolley, were only a few of the highlights. I really loved it! The amount of fun we had, is probably illegal. :)

On the trolley. Happy Birthday Alyssa!

Another one of my best friends had a baby shower in June for her little girl. I couldn't be more excited for my "niece" to make her debut! The grand party was hosted at a lovely little cottage on a lavender farm. The whole thing was so adorably perfect. I am so very happy for Reghan in the starting of their cute little family! Check out her baby bump updates over her blog, Reghanland. You'll love them.

Entrance to the Baby Shower!

I'll post a few more pictures and snippets from my summer so far. I've been so blessed to have so many amazing things going on this year. From concerts to spending a grand time with "my kiddos", it certainly hasn't been boring. 

 

I took my brothers and one of my kiddos to the zoo. I found a little friend while I was there.

Bowling with my MamMaw, cousins, and all three of my kiddos. It was so fun!
Also, my MamMaw and cousin Danielle are too cute!

Vampire Weekend concert that I went to with my friend Nick. It was such an unbelievably great concert! I love these guys.

Morning porch snuggles with my old kitty. He's too precious so I had to add this on. :) 

Well I think that just about does it for catching up, other than.. I've got a man! I'm dating a pretty swell guy who has been a great friend for quite awhile now. He's a gentleman and I'm sure I'll be bragging on him more in the future. ;) Hope I didn't bore you too much with this post and that everyone's summer has been blessed! Until next time.



Sometimes It Just Needs To Be About Me

Do you ever get a little overwhelmed with everything sometimes? And then you feel like your only feel-better solution is to scream and throw a hissy fit? That was me this week. No, I didn't throw a hissy fit. I just cried and vented to my mom last night. That made me feel better. Moms are great for that sort of thing.

I had gotten to my breaking point. I have been constantly going for what seems like months. It's hard to stop and breath without someone requiring or wanting me to do something. "Can you/would you do this for me?" is a phrase I hear rather often. I love serving others, don't get me wrong! But I'm burnt out on it. It usually makes me happy inside but instead, I feel totally exhausted from it. That's not the way I want to feel. I'm tired of being constantly tired. I want to have that happiness inside me when I serve others.

I'm very self-sacrificing and occasionaly have a hard time saying the word, "No." Okay, actually most of the time. I fret over letting someone down if I don't say yes. It shouldn't be like that, but it seems like that mindset is woven into my very DNA. I'm slowly but surely getting better about saying, "No." I mean, can't do everything. I'm not a fictional comic book superhero that can save the day all the time. No Superwoman here. Just me, a human. A human that thankfully has been covered by the grace and mercy of a loving Savior. I flub up every day but Jesus has my back and helps me through the times when I feel like this.

This past week was busy busy busy. I had two cakes I had to do over last weekend, along with watching my kid brother because everyone was gone on trips/work. So I didn't get much of a weekend break, which I usually look forward to. Then before I knew it, it was a hectic Monday.. Tuesday.. Wednesday. Wednesday I had to drop my dog, Maggie, off at the vet for surgery. She had a mammary tumor that had to be removed and she got spayed on top of that. Double operation. So the poor girl is sore now but seems to be doing great. Which is a huge relief to me because I was a worried sick "mother." After I dropped her off, I went to pick up the little girl I watch and take her to gymnastics. After that, it was home. Fixed lunch. Then back to drop my little girl off and go pick up my pup. Back home, then out to church. I was in the car for half of the day and it was extremely tiring. Thursday was crazy. Friday wasn't as crazy. And here I am at Saturday. This week was long. I worked 40+ hours on top of everything else going on. It all just kind of meshed into a crazy whirlwind of, well, craziness.

Today though, was not like that. I spent the day doing things that I love. Browsing the thrift/antique stores, I found a couple of great deals (two vinyls and a faux fur collar.. holla!). I lounged in my coffee shop, Sips. I drank a delicious chai latte and ate a blueberry cinnamon roll, also delicious. My friend Terry came in while I was there so we talked for a while. Then I had lunch at BWW with a special friend and we went to the comic book store. After running a few errands, I came home and rode my bicycle. It was a laid back day full of wonderful things. I think I'm ready to take on the world again. Today was a refresher. Today was about me and sometimes.. that's just what it needs to be.

The Best Cat That Ever Lived

 

If you've read my blog or know me at all, you know that I'm crazy about my pets. Especially my cat, Sylvester. This post is going to be hard on me and I've waited a while to write it for that very reason.

 

Two weeks ago, I received a call. One that I was not expecting, nor did I want to get. "I think Sylvester got hit by a car up the road from your house. I am so very sorry." I held it together till after I was on the phone, then burst into tears. I was taking care of my kiddos at the time, so I called my mom and asked if she would go check to see if it really was him. I also don't think I could have handled seeing him like that. Moments seemed drag on as I feared the worst. Finally she got a hold of me and confirmed the worst. My precious cat was dead. I tried to be strong. I calmed down a bit later and the kids hugged me. I think I would have been in worse shape had it not been for their kind consolation.

We buried Sylvester under the big walnut tree in the back yard. I didn't do well for the next few days and it still breaks my heart from time to time. But I'm getting better. I have all kinds of sweet memories with that crazy cat of mine. He will forever be in my heart. I love you Sylvie.  

 

Some of my favorite pictures of my darling.

 

He was so overwhelmingly cute.

 

Peeping tom.



 

The day I brought him home. So tiny and so precious.

 

These pictures make me smile and I cherish all the precious memories. I loved my baby.

Music Monday, New Year Resolution by Graham Colton

 

I thought this song was appropriate since tomorrow is New Year's Eve. I enjoyed 2013, I really did. I was very blessed with the lessons I learned, people I met, friends and family that I grew closer too, opportunities I was able to participate in, and exciting events that happened. Honestly, this past year was kind of a redeeming year for me. I was coming out of a rough patch in 2012 and this year was my time to start anew. That's why this song is perfect. 2013, I solute you. Happy New Year's everyone! 

It's Thankful Season



Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Can you believe it?? I love this time of year. I love fall and all the thankful, cozy vibes it brings. It is, quite possibly, my favorite season. Every November, Facebook is loaded with people posting what they're thankful for. I know some find it kind of annoying but I love it! It makes me happy to see people counting their many blessings. I have not done it this year but have in a few years past. I decided it would be a good post to list some of them. So here we go;

1. I'm so very thankful for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Without him, I would not have the amazing life that I do. It may be a mess sometimes, but it is something beautiful. I could never be perfect on my own but I have been made perfect through his love and sacrifice. And for that, I am extremely blessed and eternally grateful.

2. I'm thankful for my dynamic family. I have some amazing parents and little brothers. My Dad is Mr. Fix-Anything and has always been there to lend a helping hand. He does so much to provide for my family. My Mom is such a sweet woman with a heart of gold. She always is doing something kind and loving us kids unconditionally. My three younger brothers are all different in their own ways. They're ornery for sure, but care so much for everyone they meet. They are all pretty hilarious too and will keep us rolling on the floor for a lifetime to come. My new sister-in-law gets added to this list too. She is such a kind soul. I'm so glad that I get to call her a sister and a friend. I dearly love each member of my family.

3. I'm thankful for my amazing best friends. Reghan (reghanland), Helen, (blueeyedbeautyblogg), and Alyssa have been my corner stones of a lifetime. No matter what, I will always have that special bond with each of them. They are my confidants, my adversaries, and my sisters by heart. Any time I get together with one of them, it is a wonderful time filled with laughter and encouragement. Life would be so dull without them! They are such treasures. (I'm so thankful for every friend that I have been blessed with.)

4. I'm thankful for coffee. I'm finally getting over my addiction to where I'll drink usually one cup a day instead of three..

5. I'm thankful for my creative talents. I am all about crafts and the sense of accomplishment I get when I bring new purpose to something. I have also begun to really appreciate my cake decorating abilities and the artwork that it is. It's a lot more time and effort consuming than you'd think.

6. I'm thankful for the cool fall days (although it's been a little frigid lately). Like I said, this time of year is one of my favorites. Snuggling up with a blanket and a good book is so cozy when it's like this.

7. I'm thankful for baking and cooking. I like love food.. even though it will make you fat.

8. I'm thankful for my future husband and family. I often day dream about what they will look like and it is something quite spectacular. I'm definitely excited about that part of my life.

9. I'm thankful for my job. I get to spend time playing with three pretty great kiddos during the week. I mean come on. Who wouldn't love to do that? They are each a little light brightening up my days. I love getting to be a part of their lives.

10. I'm thankful for my career. I get to help ladies and couples make one of the most memorable days of their life, special. I've done just about every job in the book pertaining to weddings; Decorator, cake decorator, hair stylist, florist, make-up artist, nail technician, seamstress, caterer, chauffeur, bridesmaid, etc, etc. I love every little detail that I get to pour my heart into with my career. It's pretty stinkin' cool.

11. I'm thankful for fashion. I enjoy getting to express myself through clothes and accessories. A girl likes to get dolled up and feel pretty! Cozy sweaters and shoes are the best.

12. I'm thankful for music. There are so very many talented musicians out there that produce amazing lyrics. They've been blessed with that gift. I'm just glad I get to butcher those songs when I sing them.

13. I'm thankful for my pets. Of course, you already assumed that this would be on my list. I'm crazy in love with my furry companions. Cat lady forever. Animal lady forever.

14. I'm thankful for do-good-ers. Nothing warms my heart more than to see someone serving a stranger. Whether it's an action or a smile, there needs to be more kind people out there. I know I always get a warmth in my soul when I help someone out.

15. I'm thankful for all my worldly possessions. This might seem a bit odd to state but it's true. God has blessed me immensely with everything from clothes and a car, to a roof over my head. It's all temporary and none of it will last forever but they are commodities that I have been fortunate enough to be given. I want to share everything with those that need it, to pass these blessings forward.

16. I'm thankful for a voice. I get to speak and be heard (most of the time anyway). I can make a difference in a world that is ever changing. To share my ideas and encourage others on in life. Sometimes I think there's people that would like me to just shut-up (Haha!). Oh well. :)

17. I'm thankful for flannel sheets. What? If you haven't slept in flannel sheets, you haven't lived. Mom bought me some just because and they are so fuzzy warm. Trust me, there is a reason that they get their own thankful number.

18. I'm thankful for second chances and forgiveness. These keys applies to faith, relationships, and life in general. I have received those and I have given them. If you live willing to give these without conditions, you will have a much fuller life. This has been a very prominent lesson in my life lately. I am rebuilding a relationship because of giving a second chance/forgiveness to someone recently and I have been so very blessed. Maybe someday I'll write a post about it.

19. I'm thankful for sleep. Which, is something I should be doing right now. I'm a sleep hog and can never seem to get enough of it. I don't dream that often so honestly, my sleep is just plain ol' boring.

20. In general, I'm thankful for this life I have. I could go for forever with this whole thing but at some point, I have to put a cap on it. I hope to live each day to the fullest and love without ceasing. I am so extremely blessed with this life I've been given. I don't want to ever waste it.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving! I always do. We spend time hanging out with family all day and stuffing our faces with delicious food. It's pretty much the best thing ever. I can't wait!

Stay thankful!

Be Nice. Don't be a Heifer.

Remember my previous post? Well, my long week continued. I dropped my phone in a solo cup of iced tea. I was rather clumsy and now it will not work. At least I still had my old crummy android that I am now using. Oh well. It happens I guess. That's what I get for being a tea addict.

On to my main topic for this post. I work at a lovely little restaurant on Fridays. The owners are the sweetest people ever and it is truly a joy working for them. During my short time of working with them, I've never encountered any really rude customers. Today however.. I did. Two doctors came in. One I recognized from a few other visits and is very sweet. The other I had not seen before but I will certainly remember her now. I seated them and asked what they wanted. They ordered a hot tea and two orders of scones. I went to the back to tell the order to the chef and was informed that we had just run out of scones. We had a big order call in so the last four orders were sent to go. I went back to inform the ladies that we were out of scones. Well, Nice Doctor had gone to the restroom so it was just the other sitting at the table. I inform her, "Ma'am I am so sorry but we had a to go order that just cleaned us out of all of our scones.." Before I could get out anything else, she slams her hands on the table! Silverware somewhat flies up in the air and everything on the table rattles. It was not quiet at all, especially in a small space. Three other groups were currently present. Rude Doctor continues to make a scene by raising her voice, "I cannot BELIEVE you don't have any scones and it's the middle of the day! I just can not believe this. That is THE ONLY reason I come here. So I can have tea and scones. And now it's not worth my time!" I manage to get in, "I am so sorry. Would you like me to see if we can find an alternative?" Rude Doctor, "No! There is no alternative to scones. I just can not believe this. I don't even want to stay now!" (I'm thinking, yes, please do leave). She was rubbing her forehead and shaking the whole time. Just raising her voice and making it seem like we were the worst possible people on the planet. She gets up to storm out and by this point, Nice Doctor has shown up. They meet my boss at the door and Rude Doctor proceeds to chew her out. Yelling and making yet ANOTHER scene. I guarantee that she's actually three by the way she's throwing tantrums. She was super rude to my boss who is just the sweetest, most understanding lady ever. By this point, our other customers are just floored and whispering about this crazy lady that is just making a fool of herself. I have tears forming by now and am trying to take care of our other customers without balling in front of them. The doctors? They end up staying after Nice Doctor apologizes and Rude Doctor calms down. I then have to go take their orders and they wanted a lot of specifics and substitutes, etc. I get back to the kitchen and start telling my boss what they want to eat, but I start tearing up.. again. She asks, "Were they rude to you??" in the most concerned voice.. I break down, balling like a baby. It was really embarrassing. She frets over me and tells me to take a seat for a bit. Just a side note to anyone that doesn't know me, I'm a very tender-hearted person. Someone being upset with me just rips me apart. Bless my dear boss because she said that she would wait on their table so that I wouldn't have to. That made things much easier! I composed myself and went on to take care of the other customers. Thank goodness that they were all so sweet and understanding. This one lady (who I'm pretty sure was actually Reba McEntire's twin. No joke, she sounded just like her and looked really similar but with bleach blonde hair.) told me that I did a wonderful job and how much they enjoyed everything. After everyone cleared out and the doctors left satisfied, my boss was talking to one of her friends that had come in to chat for a bit. She explained what had happened and that she could not believe how that woman had acted. My boss said, "She was just a rude heifer!" Knowing my sophisticated boss, I busted up laughing over her saying it. We all laughed for quite awhile over the situation and that lightened my heart greatly. Geez life gets crazy! Laugh about it.

I was able to get quite a bit of positives out of this week though. I got a great shirt in the mail. It says, "I just want to drink coffee, make stuff, and sleep." BEST. SHIRT. EVER! I seriously think that this shirt was made for me. That's what my dreams are made of. The whole iced tea phone? I was given an iPhone 4 today. BIG whoop!! I can't wait to get everything uploaded to it. Reghan and I went to Tres Catina in Norman to watch my cousin play on Thursday night. It was a really nice and much needed girl's night out. She's the coolest. Tonight (Friday), I hung out with my "ex" for quite awhile. He's become such a great friend and I really appreciate him. We ate at buffalo wild wings, shopped for candy, went to see the new Thor, and played a few rounds of pool. I'm so thankful for all the loving and awesome friends that I have to encourage me on a daily basis. I would be a mess without them!

Just a reminder, be nice to everyone around you. No one likes being the victim of meanness. Don't be a "heifer."

Sometimes.. Well Ya Know... Life

The past week (or a little over) has been filled with a ton of positive things. My brother got married to a super sweet girl, who I am proud to call my sister-in-law. I was a bridesmaid, make-up artist, nail lady, cake maker, decorater, hair stylist, florist, and crafty fool for their wedding.  I went as a sponsor on a youth retreat with our teens at church. That was so refreshing and inspiring! I went to yet another wedding, which I also did cupcakes and a mini wedding cake for. I hung out with my super adorable kids. Did (and am still doing so) research for a business opportunity. Took a few naps. Shopped, and several other things that I'm sure I am forgetting..

So why am I struggling with feeling blue??

Things happen, I know, but there was also a fair share of not so great things happened this past week. I was super stressed. I got virtually no sleep what-so-ever. I had severe headaches. I ate way too many sweets and I'm sure gained weight. I took myself out to eat..alone..twice. I rolled my ankle or may have even sprained it. I stepped in a hole, felt it slide out of socket, and heard it crack. The swelling and bruising has taken over my foot. It honestly just looks gross. That's what happens when you have a weak ankle I guess. It's already been sprained twice so I shouldn't be surprised that it has happened again. Ha.
My brother moved away. As if I didn't get to see him much as is, now I feel like I never will. My brother and I have always been really close. We would stay up way too late talking about anything and everything. Several people have thought we are twins on random occasions, and in some ways, we are a lot alike. He's one of my very best friends. Before summer started, he got a decent job and moved out. I have not been able to see him much since then. I know it's all part of growing up, but my heart still breaks over it. When most of my other friends moved away, I had him. We did stuff. We had the best times ever. Now he has moved and there is just as much distance between. I don't say all this to make you think he's abandoned me. He hasn't. He's still awesome and we talk when we can but I just miss him. Like a lot.
On another subject of missing, my dear sweet kitty Sylvester, is missing. He has been gone for over a week and there is no sign of him anywhere. I have spent time after time driving around, looking and yelling for him. I don't want to give up searching, but it is starting to seem hopeless. Sylvester is my baby. He has been the warmth in my heart. We would snuggle. We would play. We would go on car rides. He followed me everywhere. Sylvester is the most beautiful cat I have ever seen. Long black and white fur portioned to perfection. Light green eyes that look straight into your soul. I know that I sound like a crazy cat lady. That's okay by me.. because I am. I'm crazy about MY cat. The fact that I might never see him again, breaks my heart like nothing else. My horrible break up a few years ago? Yeah it comes pretty dang close to that. I cry about Sylvester being gone, every day. I miss him a whole freaking lot. If he was present, he would sense my hurt. He always did when I was feeling down and would snuggle up under my chin, purring.

 

I can only wish for the best and that I'll find him. But a big part of me is just devastated.

I'm feeling down because of a lot of this and other little things here and there. I know pain doesn't last forever and God is getting me through it. I keep telling myself that rough patches happen. I've had my fair share of them for sure. I just have to keep praying and holding onto the Lord. He will never fail me even when life and circumstances do.

Confession Time

     Okay I decided it's confession time so here it goes.. Remember several posts back when I said I was going to start doing outfit posts? I haven't done those yet if you can't tell and here's why *deep breath*, it's because I'm super self conscious. I know it's just something girls struggle with but by golly, I REALLY do! I'm not where I need to be in-shape wise nor where I want to be. I've hesitated doing outfit posts because I really don't like how I look. I'm striving to get where I want to be by exercising and eating healthier. I'm tired of changing my outfit a MILLION times before I head out the door! Arg!! No more hesitating on the outfit posts. I'm starting them this week and maybe this will give me an extra boost. Any encouragement and prayers you want to throw my way will be so appreciated! I've got the clothes, I just need to start doing the posts! Fashion Friday y'all. It's happening this weekend. I'm trying to bulk up on my blogging skills and posts so this will help tons. Thank you to those of you reading and following! You are keeping my blogging dream alive and blossoming.

My Goals and Dreams For 2013

 

New Year's Resolutions seemed to have been made, just to be broken. I know I tend to make them, only to follow through with maaaybe half of them. So this year I'm changing it up. I'm not calling them resolutions, they are my goals and dreams for this year. I really feel like I have a new beginning and renewed ambition. Two years ago I hit a really rough patch. I was super depressed and my heart was cut deep. I honestly didn't know if I would ever make it through. The first part of this last one was hard but it gradually started getting better as it went on. Now it's 2013 and I'm ready to conquer the world! I've been dwelling on what my dreams were for this year and I think I've finally collected them all enough to write them down. So here they are in no particular order;

 

1. Live a healthier lifestyle over all. This includes exercising, eating better, and just making better choices overall. I'm determined!

 

2. Color me rad 5k. I have seen a few people do it and it looks so fun! It's not so much about the running and more about the throwing colors at people. I have to do it!

 

3. Going along with number two, I want to be more spontaneous. Try new things. I've always been a shy person (like really REALLY shy). This includes activities, foods, etc. But don't expect me to jump out of an airplane or do karaoke.

 

4. Go to a Thunder game. I will be going to one at the end of this month thanks to my darling little girl that I take care of and her sweet mom. I can't wait! I have been mulling over my outfit since they told me.

 

5. Go on some random short road trips. I am also hoping to be able to go visit my Aunt and Uncle in Seattle later this year, fingers crossed!

 

6. Dive into ministry at my Church. During that first rough year, I really strayed away from working in my church's ministries. I've been trying to jump back in full swing. Along with reading my Bible everyday. I tend to forget to do this and that's not acceptable.

 

7. Go on a mission trip. I'm really shooting for Honduras on this one. I went a few years ago and I have been pulled towards going back since.

 

8. Say "I Love You" more to my family and friends. We have no clue how long we're going to be here so I want them to know that at all times.

 

9. Get a record player. This may seem a little odd but I have developed a LOVE for records. I picked up Bill Cosby and Beatles records at a thrift store the other day for only 99 cents!!

 

 

10. I want to dive head-first into blogging. I want to become an avid blogger. I know that I have tons of potential to do so. :)

 

11. Spend more time with my family and friends. I'm around my family a lot but I want to spend more QUALITY time with them. And the same goes for my friends.

 

12. Go to an OU game. I have wanted to do this for forever! As soon as I feel I have the money to, I'll be going.

 

13. Support more local businesses, artists, and musicians. I would much rather do this than buy mass produced products that don't have the love and quality in them.

 

14. Do at least 1 or 2 secret good deeds a week. Whether it's giving a homeless person food or writing an encouraging note to someone and leaving it unsigned. It makes me happy to do stuff like this!

 

15. Just be an over-all good person. Step up and out of my way to do things for others. And do positive things for myself on the side of that. We're all works in progress, right?

 

 

Well that's all that I've come up with for now. I hope this has inspired you! I will be following through with these goals and dreams during this year. I'm very excited about it!



My Rockin' New Year's Eve

This New Year's Eve was awesome! My brother Jesse and I went up to Bricktown for all the festivities. There were musicians of all walks, magicians, and others preforming at several different places. We walked all over and listened to a few, explored, laughed, and had a blast. It was absolutely freezing outside but seeing the ball "raise", hearing everyone shout happy new year, and watching the fireworks display was awesome! There was so much excitement in the air, it was contagious. I can't even imagine what New York City was like! There was even a couple that we saw get engaged right behind us. It was very sweet! I really think that we will try to go back next year. I didn't need a kiss to ring in the new year, just a fantastic time with my best friend. Here's a few pictures of our adventures during the evening!

 

 In front of a giant ornament.

 

My pre-midnight dinner. We ate at Toby Keith's. Okra and baked potato. Yummy!

 

 

Fireworks display. It went on for probably ten minutes and was beautiful!

 

 Happy New Year!! Our cold excited faces with fireworks going off in the back ground.

 



Jesse dancing to Gangnam Style along to the music. There was a random guy that started recording him. It was quite hilarious! He may be better at it than Psy.

 

Well that about sums up my eve! I really am thankful that I went with my brother. I'm so lucky that we get along so well! How was yours? I'd love to hear about it!

 

 

 



Things I've Realized Lately

With a new year coming up and this past one coming to a close, I've been thinking A LOT lately. Saying this past year was much better than the one before is an understatement. This year has made me grow in so many ways and I have to admit, I'm starting to really like the person I'm becoming. I'm still a work in progress but I always will be. One step at a time! So without further ado, my light bulb realizations:
I have too many clothes and not enough closet space. I really am a coffee addict. I have a thing for hipsters and I'm becoming more of a hipster myself. I don't say "I love you" enough to my family and friends. Not to sweat the small things cause God works everything out. I will never settle for a man that doesn't respect and love me as much as I love him. I am a crazy cat lady (Sylvester has been dressed up in shirts and sweaters lately). I don't read enough. Or exercise enough for that matter. A nice working car is a huge blessing. I'm becoming a homebody cause I just want some time to breathe here and there. I am talented in so many ways. Especially at the ones I used to say, "Eh I'm okay at it, I guess." to. Big rings are awesome to accessorize with. I'm cheap and bargains rule my shopping tendencies. Yes I am a OneDirectioner. I'm sometimes afraid to stand up for myself and so on occasion, that leads to me being walked on (this is changing!). I always look behind the shower curtain in bathrooms. I'm lucky to have the parents I do. I want to take photos of EVERYTHING. I'm not as OCD as I used to be. I could live off hummus and warm pita bread. Never to go to any hairstylist other than my own. The world revolves around the sun and not me. My room is never going to be warm enough since I'm always cold in there. Leverage is an addicting TV show. I can use my time in more productive ways to do more in a day.

Honestly, I could list a lot more and I might come back later to edit some others in. You never know! I'm becoming much more self aware and I like that. Love it even! "I'm on the up and up. And I'm not giving up on what I know I'm capable of." Great and wise words from one of my favorite bands, Relient K. I now know that I'm super capable of all kinds of amazing things :).

No More Mumbo Jumbo

Ah it's good to be back! Where have I been you ask? Well I've been living life as it comes and loving every second of it. I feel happier now than I've been in a very long time. I'm going through the days as just me. Not the person I wish I was or the person I used to be but just me, Kora. Happiness has been coming a lot easier to me. Why? Cause I choose to be joyful and delight in the little things. God has worked wonders in me lately and I'm loving it. :)
Since I last typed..I have gone through a break up, started getting even closer to my friends, started on weight watchers (I've lost 8 pounds!), found a calling at my church, gotten to meet and know new people, being crafty, spent a lot more time at the local coffee shop (One of my very favorite places!), started putting more thoughts in outfits, and being more creative in general! When you don't worry about life or what's gonna happen next, you become much more free. I'm extremely light-hearted if you can't tell.
I've started carrying my camera in my purse with me at all times. I actually stopped in an alley downtown last week and started snapping pictures! Some stranger saw me squatted down taking pictures of some broken glass, then proceeded to snicker at me. Snicker all you want random person, I'm an artist at heart!

I've also been very much into making things. I made a necklace the other day and it is one of my current favorites. It has "wishes" or otherwise known as dandelion seeds, inside a glass bottle with a cork top. Don't worry, it's a small bottle and it even has a burlap bow on it. Absolutely adorable.

Recipes have been super big lately too. I spent part of one of my days tearing out a ton of recipes from some of my magazines. A folder with all of them in it is another of my always going projects. I can't wait to try some of them! Delicious food is one of my weaknesses. I'll have to take pictures when I cook some select ones and post them to the blog. That's another thing! Notice the new layout? The tabs at the top of the page? I'm trying to become a regular blog connoisseur. It's a work in progress but it's gonna get there eventually! My goal is to do the things I love and this is one of them. Along with so many other things that I can incorporate in! I'm very excited about it. So start watching out for more organized posts instead of all this mumbo jumbo.

Choose to be happy!
Kora

Questions?

     Have you ever had someone come up and ask you one of those mind blowing, life altering, confusing, take you off guard, but resonable questions? I have. I was presented with one of these questions this past week. I won't tell you what the question was, but what I will tell you is that it certainly got me thinking. I have felt like Winnie the Pooh. I need a thinking spot where I can say, "Think. Think. Think." and figure it out. It was something that I never really thought I would be asked but yet something I really need to think about. Are you annoyed yet with how many times I can say think? Life is full of surprises and I'm pretty sure I have several in store for the future. You all are curious now aren't you? Don't worry, I'll probably tell you when I find out.
     My life has been full of surprises. It's been more than a little crazy and hectic for over a year now. I feel sometimes that the changes were more bad than good. It really started when my Great Grandma Lofton passed away (as I've already told you). I still regret not going to see her in the hospital when they said she was doing much better and should have been able to go home soon. The day after the positive feedback, she passed away. It broke my heart that I didn't get to say goodbye. A few months later I lost someone I thought I could count on to be there for me and again, my heart was broken. The next several months were full of sadness and lack of meaning. I continued to ask myself, "Why?" Always the questions. All through the rest of the time, it was one thing after another. My car broke down time after time. More people came and went that I thought I could trust. I began to think that you can't trust too much or you eventually get broken. I lost my job and my hope that things would get better. Things seemed like they just couldn't go right. I knew it was satan at work but I tended to get upset with God. Again with the questioning, "Why? Why me?" Then I decided to give up. I'd had enough. I had gotten to the breaking point and gone past it. I stopped trying. And I soon found out, that's exactly what he wanted me to do. God wanted me to give it up to him, to stop trying to handle it on my own. I suddenly had that burden gone. I chose not to worry about it anymore. Before I knew it, things were falling into place. Things were getting better. I met more fantastic friends, went to an amazing bible study group, started my career, enjoyed time with my family more, and took pleasure in the simple things. Now I'm as happy as I could ever wish. Things may still go wrong every once in awhile but that's just life. A lady that I really admire from my church was talking to me a few weeks ago on a girl's day. We talked about some of the things I've mentioned and I said that I had felt like they were all bad. She looked at me and said, "Were they really? Just think, if you hadn't gone through those things, would you be where you are now? Knowing what you know or having met the people you have?" Her wisdom really struck me! The fact is that I wouldn't be the person I am now without all of that. I won't change how I am except to be more of the person I ought to be. I'm not going to worry because I have set my hopes on something higher. I'm not going to question God anymore. He obviously knows what he's doing. No more questions about it.

Gradually Updating

Well it's been almost two months since I last posted. I have procrastinated yet again! I hope eventually I can get on here and do a couple of posts a week, but for now, I am going to try for once a week. I think that's probably a good goal. How do you like the new set up? I'm attempting to create a carefree fun blog layout. I'm really liking the font! This will probably be the post where I add in pictures. I'm way ready to start doing that! Maybe someday it will be picture perfect but it's a work in process for now.
I might as well ask how every one's holidays were, even though it's already February. I had a fantastic Christmas and New Years. I spent Christmas Eve with my Mom's side of the family. Then Christmas day was spent at my Aunt and Uncle's house. I was blessed with so much for Christmas. I got my red TOMS, an awesome heavy duty case for my sewing machine, and a kindle! Of course there were other things but those were the main things :) I am enjoying everything thoroughly. My Grandparent's 50th Wedding Anniversary party was New Year's Eve and it was perfect. They rode up in a horse drawn carriage (it was a surprise).

         I love this picture of them! Shows how much they love each other after all these years.

I did the cakes and they turned out great. Several of their friends showed up and with all of our family too, the head count probably came to 130 or so. You would have thought that is was a super nice wedding reception, which is what we were going for. Some of us grand kids even provided entertainment! It was such a great way to honor them for every wonderful thing they do. I adore my Grandparents and I'm so blessed to have them! New Year's evening was spent with a group of us at a friend's house. We all had a blast. I am certainly glad to be in 2012! There was good moments in 2011 but it was certainly rough. So I am welcoming a new year with open arms. I'll have to tell you some of my resolutions for 2012 in another post. I'm determined to make this a fantastic year! Goodness can you believe that it's already February?! I'm already starting to freak out about what to get for a Valentine's gift. I will figure it out and I'm sure it'll probably end up being something I make. I love to give meaningful gifts that will be used but also really enjoyed. Time to start brain storming I guess!
What have you done so far this year? I have done a lot of crocheting, baking, and crafting. I've made two scarfs and two slouchy beanies. They turned out so cute! I think I'm going to start selling them along with anything else I come up with. I'm going to start doing more of what I love. I made some lemon blueberry cupcakes a few weeks ago...

and yesterday I made red velvet cupcakes.

They were delicious. I think it would be so fun to open a cupcake shop! My friend Helen tells me frequently that my cupcakes are to die for. Sorry, but my recipe is a secret :)

I'm really enjoying life right now! I am so blessed with so many good friends and family. I appreciate everything more and more with each passing day. It's all about outlook and recognizing what you have been given. Live and love!
Until next type!
Kora

Memories I Cherish

     Hello all! I can't believe it's been since July that I last posted. I do hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving. I certainly did! As for my blogging, so much tends to swamp my life and I always think, "I'll post tomorrow." But of course that turns into the next day, then the next week, and then of course the next month or months. Thus the reason I am just now posting again at the end of November. If you can't tell, I've gotten into the horrible habit of procrastinating and being lazy. Gasp! I know. I know. I should be doing more. Trust me, I'm getting there. After the year I had, it's just gonna take a bit for me to do more as a habit. But I will tell you all that in another post.
     What I really want to talk about is memories that I get around this time of year. The memories that I have of my Grandmothers and others that have moved on to be with God. As some of you may or may not know, I lost my Great Grandma Lofton last September. This time of year, was Grandma's time of year. She always brought the cranberry jam, chicken and dumplings, and angel food cake to Thanksgiving and Christmas. She was an outstanding cook. Family was such a big thing to her. We were all her blessings. I would usually sit in the living room to chat with her at Papa and MamMaw's house. I could listen to her talk about things for hours. She told me once about how Great Grandpa was the boy next door and she ignored him for a long time. Eventually they fell for each other and Grandma said that Grandpa had to chase her daddy around the house to ask him if he could marry her. Haha. I can still see her chuckling about it as she was telling me. When I was little, I would bring my sewing kit over to her house and sit at her feet. She taught me how to sew certain things and crochet (not pronounced croch-et by the way). We would make things and she would hang them on her refrigerator. That thing was covered with our art work. She would spend her whole year crocheting and sewing pot holders, wash clothes, and so many other things for everyone. I always enjoyed opening her present. I had gotten everything from barbie clothes to pillow cases, all of it made by her diligent hands. I hold them dear to my heart.
     My Granny was the same way. A Godly woman that loved her family. I have precious memories of her too. While she died when I was younger, I remember so many things about her. She always had toys for us and she would get in the floor and play with us. They lived on a good amount of land filled with trees in the back and a pond. Granny would take us on nature walks and taught us the "cheating way" to fish. Little robin's eggs would fall from their tall trees and she would bring me them in ring boxes. We always sat by her in church and she would give us big red bubble gum. I always thought the gum was "spicy" but I always chewed it anyway. She caught lizards with me and finally caught me getting cookies out of the cow cookie jar. Haha. I thought I had her fooled. One time she cooked us green eggs and ham, then read us the book to go with it. We thought it was so cool that we got to eat green eggs. Thanksgiving and Christmas were also a big thing to her. She made the best food and always decorated the tree beautifully. I loved the twinkle in her eye when she smiled or laughed. I can still picture it all in my mind. I found out only recently that before she died of cancer, she said she had to see her Kora before she went to be with God. They brought me into her room and she kissed me goodbye. It wasn't long after seeing me and telling everyone to meet her in heaven, that she went to be with him. You can only imagine how touched I was and how inspired I am.
      The fact is that I miss so many people, but especially them this time of year. Thanksgiving and Christmas is a time to really be thankful. I am forever grateful for how they blessed and graced my life. If you want to know two of my role models, they are at the top of the list. Both of them truly loved their family, spouses, and God. They always went above and beyond the call. I learned so much from them and I am so blessed to have had them as my Grandmothers. Am I sad they aren't here with me now? Yes. But I know I will see them again when he calls me to be with him. But until then, I cherish the memories that they blessed me with.

Grace and Blessings

Updates to the Modern World, Broken Cars, and New Beginnings

First off, I FINALLY HAVE HIGHSPEED INTERNET! After years of being behind in technology, I think I may have kinda caught up, at least for now. Who knows, maybe I'll update to a new phone soon. It would be nice to not have a hand me down phone for once in my life. Haha.

Well my car has been giving me hissy fits lately. The poor thing is getting up there in years and miles. I feel like Dad is always having to do something to it. Her thing right now is occasionally not wanting to start and then trying to die at random times while I'm driving. Not the most conveinient thing. I speak as though my car is a person because I named it. Haha. Black Betty is the name of my Blazer. Makes sense to me that it's a suitable name for a black mini SUV. I'm rather fond of it despite the flaws. Hopefully we'll figure out what's wrong and get it fixed. I'm praying so!

Camp Rock Creek was fantastic as always! This was probably one of the best years yet. Reghan and I were counselors in Girls Cabin 4 with most of our girls from last year. You can only imagine how excited we were. They were so awesome that really, they pretty much didn't need us. They were always looking to serve, latched onto each other, and were always on time, if not several minutes early to everything. We would love to be able to be with them again next year, so we will be hoping! It was in the 100's all week and with sweating and walking everywhere, I lost some pounds and obtained pretty good leg muscles. Haha. Camp was exactly what I needed to get back on my feet. Honest I'd been in a on and off slump for the past year, and I certainly needed a boost. I was able to get closure on a few parts of my life and reconnect with God. I realized things that I hadn't before. I loved everything about the week. How the girls had me laughing all the time, Reghan and I's late night talks, being able to make connections with people, worship, food, everything! I can never see myself not going to Rock Creek. That's where I grew up and it's a huge part of my life. You always take something with you from Rock Creek and this year, I walked away with a new beginning.

Stale Cereal and Quality Friend Time

So the other morning I woke up and decided I would open my box of Reese's Puffs cereal. I was getting so excited as I poured the milk in the bowl and sat down to eat it. It'd been forever since I had some! I take a bite and, "What?!" Yes you guessed it, the cereal was stale and past the expiration date. I was so beyond disappointed and upset! I was really looking forward to eating that chocolaty goodness. So I am making it a point from now on to check the expiration dates on my food products, especially my cereal.

I have been house-sitting this week and spending some quality time with one of my best friends, Reghan. Sure beats turning into a crazy cat woman. I was honestly starting to have conversations with them. The two of us girls have been talking and laughing about everything.  To me, our time is always like therapy. That's when you know you have a fantastic best friend. We have also been spending some time up at Camp Genesis and were pretty much convinced to come back next year as counselors. Needless to say, I'm getting fairly excited about it. I live for church camps every summer. I couldn't imagine not going every summer. Last year we were counselors for the first time at Rock Creek. It was such a fun experience. After growing up there, how could we not come back as counselors? The girls in our cabin were great and we are hoping that we get to be with them again this year. Can't believe it's only a few weeks away! Guess I should start planning? Off to start writing out a list!

Until next type!

Starting Up In Blogger Land

I've been trying to convince myself to get a blog for several months and I had a sudden urge to today. So here I am! I'm probably just gonna blab about a bunch of nothing but maybe once in a while I can manage to come up with something good. I'm just going to say this will be my online journal. Here we go!

I guess I should start by telling a little bit about who I am.
I consider myself to be an eclectic person and I talk to myself quite often, thus the title. I love a little of pretty much everything, especially where music is concerned. Vintage looking clothes, owls, peacocks, black and white photos and Jane Austen, are just a few of my obsessions. Enjoying life, family, and friends are certainly on my priorities list. I've learned that if you don't have them and God, you have nothing. Along the lines of family, I'm the oldest of four and just so happen to be the only girl. So yes, I've grown up being the princess. I really do love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything. Same thing with my friends! Most of them, I have had for pretty much all my life and I wouldn't make it without them. They're the best.
I am passionate about several things, but kids, people in need, and animals are high up there. That's why everytime I go on a mission trip, I want to bring all the kids back. Same with dogs and cats. No telling how many strays I have brought home. Haha. At some point I would love to travel the world, especially Europe. I am determined to, so it will happen! I am excited for what the future holds. I'm studying to be a Wedding Planner/ Organizer. I'll be doing what I love as my career and that's what you're suppose to do. At some point I'll be a wife and mom but for now, I'm just walking through the doors God opens.

Until next type!